The Seduction Of Inadequacy
I was elated when I heard that Lupita Nyong'o had won the Oscar for Supporting Actress for her portrayal of Patsy in 12 Years A Slave. I was so taken with her grace and beauty I started watching video excerpts from the many speeches she had given during the Hollywood Awards season. One speech in particular was during the Essence Seventh Annual Black Women in Hollywood on black beauty. In the speech she spoke of how she did not feel beautiful because of her dark skin. Images around her of black beauty were not of darker skinned women, and she began to feel less than and she used a phrase called "The Seduction of Inadequacy."
Background
That phrase so spoke to me I began to ponder on what areas in my life I had begun to feel inadequate. Whether it was because of someone else's image of me or because I lacked self-esteem, I too have been seduced by feelings of inadequacy. I mean who hasn't faltered, concerning self-esteem, a time or two? It is however when we wallow in self pity, and paralyze ourselves with inactivity, that we let the seduction of inadequacy overtake us.
When I was a Senior in high school I had an opportunity to study abroad in France. I began to let the fear of being so far away from home overtake me. I began to think I was not strong enough, or smart enough to make it through nine months in a foreign land. The lure of giving up because things are too hard took over me and I have at times so easily fallen into accepting less than because I thought I couldn't.
It was not until I really got an understanding of who I was in God, that I began to see myself as something more than what others thought of me; more than what I thought of myself. I had to put this in practice while working for a local business. I had been hired on as an accounting manager, working directing under the VP of finance. The company, in its five year strategy planning, was developing a succession plan. The VP would become the President and I was making a case to be promoted to the VP of Finance. The President looked at me and told me I would never be the VP of Finance and in his opinion, I would not be that for any company. That was like a cheap shot to the gut. I was hurt, dismayed but more importantly, I started to believe he could be right.
Insight
I'm sure in his mind he was just helping me. In the time I had been with the company they had supported me in several endeavors and had been very kind to me and my family. However, telling me to lower my aspirations, not only with his company but in life in general, was not kind for me. If I had listened to him, and let the seduction of inadequacy take over I would not be the person I am today.
How many of us have let someone else's opinion of us change how we see ourselves? What about looking at our current situation and letting that determine where we will be later in life? How about looking at our current financial mess and saying it will never get better, I can't get myself out of debt, or I can't get a better job? Don't let what you currently see or what you have been through stop you from the future God has destined for you. You were created to be great, the greatest you you can be; you just have to believe it.
In a recent Sunday service our praise and worship team sang a song that really touched the pulpit conductor. He read the following scripture in Ephesians 3:20 "God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us." (MSG). It just blessed me so much. God can do it all, anything we could ever imagine, more than we can imagine but He has to have something to work with. God is telling us that anything is possible in Him, we just have to believe it. I have to believe I am more than what people say I am, more than what I say I am.
Victory
My husband and I were recently sharing with a couple that when trying to change your financial situation around you have to see past what has been done previously to a new reality God has promised us. If you only see the other person for the flaws, mistakes, bad decisions and bad habits, you will always think of them as that destructive irresponsible person. So everything you say, think and do will keep you thinking less than, inadequate. You will begin to see your marriage as a lost cause, something that is broken and cannot be repaired. But God, as it said in Ephesians, can do anything! Your situation can be turned around for the good, but you have to believe it.
When I was meditating on the scripture, one thing stood out to me, it’s not about God, it’s about me. I have to believe I can be great. In my finances I have to believe my family will be debt free, we will have the finances for all our needs and wants, and will be a blessing to the kingdom of God through our giving. We begin to understand that we have to be systematic in our approach to our finances.
We learned the value of making short term sacrifices for a greater good. We advise others to put a name on every savings you have from your budget and every time you don’t splurge on an item, use the money you would have used to splurge, on a debt you are paying off. It will change the way you look at things. Change from a negative, “I can't or I'm sacrificing something,” to, “This is what we get to pay off earlier than planned.” By doing this we have an eye towards a greater future in which God can work on us and through us to be more. So now we are living a life that is more than, as opposed to less than.
Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank you for the blessings you have bestowed upon us. We thank you for loving us more than we love ourselves. We thank you for the promise of more. More life, more health, more love, more peace, more wealth, more generosity, more pushing the kingdom of God. Lord help us to be free to serve you more, unburdened by our financial situations. God help us to not be satisfied with living less than what you have for us. Stir up our faith, oh Lord. We believe that you can and will do all things, we just have to believe. Lord we believe. We believe in you, in your word, your Holy Spirit, in your power, your love, and in our eternal place with you. Lord thank you for not giving up on us and not letting us give up on us. Because of your promise we have a future and for that we are grateful. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.